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Overcoming (Sequel to Back To School)
by: BuffyAngel68 (Send Feedback)
Series: - No Series - #1
Chapters: 011 Word Count: 19405
Warning(s): BDSM, Kink
Character(s): Jethro Gibbs, Tony DiNozzo
Category(ies): Alternate Universe, Angst/Drama, Established Relationship, Romance
Summary: Jethro chooses to tackle one of Tony's big issues in an unusual way.
Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11
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Draining the last of his coffee, Jethro set the cup on the table, smiled and beckoned to Tony.
"C'mere. Kneel by me."
The young man complied swiftly, gazing up at his dom with eagerness and excitement. "Very nice. The day starts now, Anthony."
"Beautiful boy... tell me; do I own your body?"
"You own all of me. I gave it all to you the first night here... body, mind and soul."
"I'll ask again and don't answer so quick this time. Give it some serious thought. Do I own your body?"
Eyes momentarily lowered, Tony let his mind drift, contemplating what other shadings of meaning Jethro could be inserting into the seemingly simple question. When the truth struck him, he brought his gaze back up to meet Jethro's, understanding slowly blossoming in his expression.
"Oh. No, you don't own me. Sometimes you control my actions, and you ask me to obey the rules for my safety and my benefit... but you've never said you owned me."
"Who has that privilege?"
"I guess... I do. I want to, at least. I'm not there yet."
The other man cupped Tony's chin and lightly held it in place, knowing the reaction his next words would engender.
"What is trust?"
Tony's brow furrowed and he began a response, but paused almost immediately, rethinking what he'd been about to say.
"Trust is con... no. Trust is giving up control."
"More. Dig deep and talk to me about that. Tell me what it means to you."
"Excavating old cesspools is never a good idea, sir. All you get is stink and mess and a lot of stuff nobody wants to look at."
"I do, and you need to if you ever expect to truly fall... to know the perfect release of total surrender. Now talk."
"I... I wish you could understand... I'd love that, but if you didn't grow up like I did... I'm just not sure you can. The kid of an alcoholic can't depend on anything but the drinking. You trust yourself and learn to give everything and everybody else the hairy eyeball, you know... thinking nothing will ever happen the way it's supposed to. You try to put as much as you possibly can in your hands and only yours. My mind just screams that it'll only work if I'm doing it... "
"... if you control it."
"Yeah." Tony confirmed quietly. "Practically my whole life, Gibbs... my whole life. Thirty some years believing trust was a fantasy and anyone who made themselves completely vulnerable... was an automatic casualty. I'm not sure it matters that I'm a natural submissive. In the years that counted... what I learned may have screwed me forever."
Gibbs shifted his careful grip to the crown of Tony's head, tipping the younger man's gaze up just a bit more.
"I can see you're asking me for something here. What is it you want, Anthony?"
"For that not to be true. Please... make it not true."
"I can't do that by myself."
"I'm not giving up... God, you know I'm not, sir. I just... if I get to a point where it seems like I'm stuck, I need you to know you won't coddle me... that you'll push hard enough to get me past it."
"Anthony... baby, I... hell."
"I know you love me. It's all over your face right now. What I'm saying is that because of my past... the time's gonna come when you have to *tough* love me, too. I'm begging you, sir... tell me you'll do it. Don't let me stay like this..."
Gibbs swallowed hard and breathed deeply for a long time before he responded.
"Agreed. If your progress stalls, which it hasn't yet... I will do what's necessary to help you keep going."
Tony shuffled forward enough to wrap himself around Jethro, sighing as the hand in his hair slid to the back of his neck and began to caress and massage.
"Thank you, Jethro." he mumbled into his dom's chest. "Thank you."
"Save the gratitude until I've found the guts for the job. Knowing it'll cause you pain..."
"You could talk to A.J. Ask him how he gets through it with you... how he's teaching Harmon to deal with it."
"That's a really good idea. I'll try and catch him while you're napping after lunch."
"You think I'll need a nap?"
"After I'm done with you? Absolutely. C'mon up here..." he instructed, patting his thighs. Tony favored him with a questioning smile. "Trust me, you're miles away from being too heavy. C'mon... straddle my legs. Good. Settle in... perfect. Now, hands on my shoulders... that's right."
"What are we doing?"
"Smarts and insight get rewarded. Close your eyes... and tell me about the first time you realized you were hard. I want all the details you can remember."
"It was embarrassing for every man, Anthony. I still want to hear it."
"Damn... okay. I was... man, I think I was eleven. Maybe Kate was right and I have been a horndog from birth. Anyway, I was in gym class, just standing in centerfield, waiting for the next batter to hit... out of breath from snagging a long pop fly a minute before... and I felt it start. Not that I really knew what *it* was at the time. I mean, I'd heard my father ramble about his affairs... what he did and for how long... but I didn't understand. It scared me... and made me excited at the same time. I wanted to go somewhere by myself... explore, figure it out... but it was the middle of a school day. All I could do was hope and pray that it'd vanish before anybody noticed. After a while it finally did. I was so relieved... and a little disappointed."
"And if you'd had that chance? If you'd told the gym teacher you just couldn't wait 'till the end of class to hit the head... and you ran off and locked yourself in a stall? What if you knew nobody would come looking for you once you got in there?"
"I... I don't know..."
"Dream it, baby. Be that little kid again... aroused for the first time and with all the freedom to find out what it means. Let yourself fantasize, Anthony... tell me what you would've done."
"I'll try. First off... thanks to all my father's stories, I at least know guys make a mess somehow so, being smart, I check there's enough paper on the roll to clean up after, just in case. Then I... I push my gym shorts and my underwear down to my ankles. Can't believe I'm about to do this. I stand there, staring at it... without the slightest idea what to do. I touch it... just with one finger, just for a second. God..." he snorted "... it bounces when it's like this. Not much, but still...Does his do that? And if it does, how do girls not laugh their heads off?"
Gibbs suited action to the words he was hearing, but kept silent, not wishing to break Tony out of his fantasy. "Try again... touch it a little longer this time. Whoa... okay, that's... totally not a bad thing... hey, it gets bigger! Man is that a relief. Guess I don't have to worry anymore. Reach down... let my hand stay there a while. Yeah... it feels good, but that's not enough. I need... Shoot, what was it he said the other night? She wrapped her hand around his... around it and stroked him off. Crap, it better *not* come off or I'm in such big trouble... I'd die before I'd ask the nurse how to put my thing back on!"
Gibbs valiantly fought down his laughter and waited, his fingers resting lightly on Tony's cock, for the story to continue. "Okay, so... wrap around, huh? Like this... jeez, what's stroke mean exactly? Maybe I could... ooooh. Yeah... that's really, really... oh... oh man... wow! Ohhhh boy... I'm shaking... all over... this can't be right... I should really stop... in another minute... I swear, in another minute... oh no... what... what's happening... I can't... can't... help! Oh, somebody help... Ahhhh! Oh... oh... it's okay... you're okay... just gonna... have a seat... I'll clean up... when my legs work again, I'll definitely clean up..."
With his free hand, Jethro tugged Tony's head down to rest against his neck and spoke gently to ease him away from the intense pictures still swirling in his mind.
"Come back to me, Anthony... back to the here and now. Slow breaths... that's good."
"I'm here. God almighty, sir... what was that about?"
"Of what?" Tony asked huskily, still recovering his faculties.
"I know how you get when you're undercover... how you're able to just shrug off who you are and slide into being someone... somewhere else. You did that just now, without hesitating, because I asked. You took a complete mental vacation... trusting you'd be safe with me."
"I did? I did... but... no way. That can't be all there is to it. It has to be... no way!"
"Don't overcomplicate it, sweetheart, okay? Let it be what it is, for now... a victory. The serious, deep stuff will hit you later, when you're not focusing on it."
"Hmmmph. Yeah, probably."
"Let's go get cleaned off."
"Oh... hey, I didn't... I wasn't aware..."
"It's okay. I orchestrated it, didn't I? I knew what was gonna happen. C'mon... up." he encouraged with a light tap on Tony's exposed rear end. The younger man faked an outraged expression and rose carefully to his feet. "Maybe I'll just consider it fate and jump on the birthday suit bandwagon for the rest of the day." Gibbs proposed as he also stood and moved away.
"Not like I'd mind, sir." Tony snarked in response.
"Go wash. We've got more work to do before you earn lunch."
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MTAC - NCIS Fic