Series: - No Series - #1
Chapters: 001 Word Count: 815
Warning(s): Other (See Author's Note)
Character(s): Jethro Gibbs, Tony DiNozzo, Ducky Mallard, Abby Sciuto
Category(ies): Crack!Fic, Humor
Summary: Who is that man in spandex?
Author Notes: COMPLETELY OOC, humorous. Want a serious fic? This one isn't for you then!
Author notes: Born from the spirited discussion on the NCISSlash list about Gibbs' special healing powers. This story wouldn't exist without Mardi's EXCELLENT fic, Keeper, Annie, and Rainne's comments. This is dedicated to you guys :)
Disclaimer: Not mine. Wish they were.
“Tony, I’m not wearing that. That is a fabric this marine is never wearing.”
“That is a fabric this marine is wearing. Do you have any idea how long Abby and Mrs. Mallard spent hand sewing this costume just for you?”
“Too damn long, if you ask me.”
“Jethro, do it for me. Please?” And the five thousand he’d win from Abby and the seven from Ducky if he got Jethro to agree to this. “Mrs. Mallard will be heartbroken if you’re not wearing it.”
“Who is going to tell her? Sure as hell not me.”
“She’ll be there.”
“She’ll what? Ducky’s letting his nearly hundred year old demented mother to one of Abby’s famous parties? Is he trying to off her?”
“Oh yeah, she’s gotten a second wind. She made my lead and collar, your costume, has been making penis and breast ice cubes all week. You want to disappoint an old woman at the end of her days?”
Jethro growled. “I will not wear that to one of Abby’s parties. Or to anywhere else. Ever.”
Tony’s mind raced and then he nodded. “Okay, I’ll make a deal. I’ll be your slave boy tonight, no shirt, shaved, oiled chest, collar, leather pants, but you have to wear the costume for five minutes, just for Abbs and Mrs. M.” He batted his baby greens. “Would you do that for me, Jethro?”
“What do you want me in for the rest of the night? If I agree. Which I haven’t yet.”
Tony looked Jethro up and down and gave him a sexy smile. “Polo and chinos won’t work for Abby’s party. Tight jeans…yeah, painted on jeans, Jethro. Ones that show off your ass. No boxers, just you under the denim.”
Jethro smirked. “Shirt?”
“That blue silk one. The one that brings out your eyes.”
“Nothing outrageous? On one of Abby’s clothing-optional parties? You’re getting soft DiNozzo.”
“Put the costume on for me. You’ll see how hard your slave boy can get, Master.”
Jethro pulled Tony close. “You have a spandex fetish?”
“Only when it comes to you, Super Stud.”
Two hours later, Tony carried Jethro’s costume inside and put it in the guest room. He’d get Jethro to put it on for the girls and Ducky then he could relax. Jethro got sublime pleasure from leading Tony around on a leash, even if it was only for show. Nobody had to know they were equals in bed and at home when he played the submissive role to perfection in public.
He found Jethro in the kitchen, sipping coffee while Mrs. Mallard flirted with him. Abby and Ducky were arranging food on plates.
“Showtime. C’mon, Jethro. Sooner you get this done, the sooner you can relax.”
“Get what done?” Abby looked hopeful, clapping her hands.
Tony led Jethro to the spare bedroom, ignoring his lover’s grumbles. Jethro stood unresisting as he dressed his lover and organized the cape. “There we go. Super Stud.”
Tony stepped back, looking at Jethro in the mirror. The red and blue spandex clung to every muscle, almost obscenely cradling his crotch, and Tony’s eye was immediately drawn to the emblem on the chest. Super Stud in stylized writing. But the best part was the graphic--two sperm, one a green-eyed grinning one and the other blue eyes and scowling, were side by side. One had flicked his tail and it was in motion aimed for the green-eyed one’s head.
“Oh my God, perfect! Ducky! Mom Mallard, you have got to come see this.”
Abby! Jethro met her eyes in the mirror and saw something he’d never seen in her eyes before—lust.
Instead of just blushing darkly, Jethro stood a little taller. He could handle this for five minutes.
“Delicious.” Was that a hand on his ass? Yes, Ducky’s mom had her hands all over his ass. Two, three hands? “My dear, hands off. This is mine.”
“Delicious! Oh, Matthew, delicious!” Her hand crept around to his front and Jethro stepped back, meeting Ducky’s embarrassed gaze in the mirror.
“No comment, Duck?”
“There aren’t words, my dear. There just aren’t words.” Was Ducky even staring at his crotch in the mirror?
“Five minutes up yet, my little slave?”
“Almost.” Tony grinned. “And Jethro, if you want me on my hands and knees all night, after seeing how sexy you are in that, you’ve got it.”
“Flattery will get you everywhere, but this getup is coming off. Now. I’ve had enough.”
“Oh, Matthew, may we watch you change?” Victoria sounded breathless, excited.
Jethro groaned. “This is going to be one hell of a night.”
“You said it, Super Stud.”
“I’m never going to live this down!”