Series: - No Series - #1
Chapters: 001 Word Count: 2204
Character(s): Jethro Gibbs, Tony DiNozzo, Ducky Mallard, Abby Sciuto, Ziva David, Timothy McGee
Category(ies): Holiday, Humor
Summary: "Wait a minute." Tony glanced toward McGee's desk and saw the unwrapped bottle. "Gibbs gave us Christmas presents?"
"Pick it up and shake it, McGee." Abby elbowed him to emphasize her point.
McGee backed away from DiNozzo's desk and raised his hands. "No way. Gibbs left it there and I'm not touching it."
"Not touching what?" Ziva said, peeking over McGee's shoulder.
Abby pointed to the neatly-wrapped gift next to Tony's computer. Ziva moved closer to the desk and tilted her head. "I don't understand."
"Gibbs left Christmas presents on each of our desks last night –" McGee began.
"Which he NEVER does." Abby interrupted.
"And we all got the same thing—a bottle of Jack Daniels," he continued.
"Which is WEIRD," Abby added, picking up Tony's phone and pushing a few buttons.
"Except for Tony. His is a different shape," McGee sighed. "And it's driving Abby nuts."
Ziva shrugged and picked up the small rectangular box. "Perhaps Tony doesn't drink Jack Daniels, so Gibbs gave him something else."
"Jack Daniels isn't exactly my favourite," McGee frowned. "But there's a bottle of it on my desk anyway."
"Does Gibbs know that you don't like it?" Ziva asked, leaning in to sniff the package.
"Well," McGee took the box from Ziva and shook it near his ear. "I don't think I ever mentioned it."
Abby hung up the phone with a small bang. "Ducky won't x-ray it for us. And my fluoroscope died on Wednesday." She took the box from McGee and held it up in front of Tony's desk lamp, then suddenly shoved the gift into Ziva's hands and backed away.
"Aww. Ziva!" Tony smiled as he dropped his backpack next to his desk. "You shouldn't have!"
"I didn't!" She handed the box to Tony. "It's from Gibbs."
Tony eyed the group suspiciously, then gingerly placed the box on his desk. "What?"
"Do you like bourbon, Tony?" McGee asked, after a moment of embarrassed silence.
"Yeah." Tony replied, slowly. "Why?"
"Because Gibbs gave each of us a bottle of Jack—" Abby began.
"Jack Daniels isn't bourbon." Tony pointed out, sliding into his chair. "It's Tennessee whiskey. Real bourbon isn't filtered through maple charcoal."
"Whatever!" Abby snapped. "Just open it, will you?"
"Wait a minute." Tony glanced toward McGee's desk and saw the unwrapped bottle. "Gibbs gave us Christmas presents?"
"Weird, huh?" Abby perched on Tony's desk. "Now open it so I can go back to work."
Tony fingered the wrapping paper and looked up at Abby. "How is this stopping you from working?"
"Because I'm a scientist, Tony." Abby shifted, the bells tied to her boots jingling her impatience . "And I need to understand anomalies. That's not a bottle of Jack Daniels in that box and I need to know what it is." She poked him in the shoulder. "Now."
He rolled his eyes and sighed. "The tag says, 'Do Not Open Until December 25th'."
"Since when do you follow instructions, DiNozzo?" McGee asked.
Tony slid a finger under the paper at one end of the package. "It's probably just—" He took a quick look at the box inside. "Oh. Nice one, Gibbs."
Abby snatched it from Tony and tore the paper all the way off revealing a dark green and black patterned box . "Honey dust!" Her eyes got wide. "Gibbs gave you Kama Sutra Honey Dust?" She favoured him with an evil grin. "Is there something you want to share with the group, Tony?"
DiNozzo looked away, shaking his head. "It's a joke."
"No, Tony," Ziva took the box from Abby. "Honey dust is wonderful! You apply it with a feather and it makes a woman's skin…silky smooth."
"And," McGee added, snickering, "I've been told that, when kissed, it tastes like honey."
"But I don't understand." Ziva handed the box back to Tony and settled herself at her own desk. "Is it not considered inappropriate to receive such a gift from one's employer?"
"It's a joke, Ziva." Tony pushed the box to a corner of his desk and turned to login to his computer. "Explain it to her, Probie."
McGee headed back to his desk, chuckling. "It was last spring when we were in the decontamination showers. Tony told us he gives honey dust to girls at Christmas. Then Gibbs mentioned that someone had sent him honey dust for Christmas." McGee grinned. "Anonymously."
"The post office screwed up, Probie." Tony glared at McGee. "I told you that at the time. And, might I remind you, I nearly died the next day? So you might show a little more compassion during this festive season."
McGee snorted and flipped open a file on his desk. "I don't even want to know what you're giving him this year."
Abby's eyes sparkled mischievously as she leaned closer to Tony. "Maybe it's not a joke!"
"I thought you had work to do." Tony leaned away from Abby.
"Maybe," Abby hopped down from Tony's desk, "Gibbs has, like, a huge crush on you and just can't bring himself to tell you."
"Yeah. I'm sure that's it." Tony scoffed as he went through his email.
Ziva caught Abby's eye and grinned impishly. "Ah. Well, this explains a lot."
Tony looked up sharply. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Please, Tony." Ziva looked up from under her eyelashes. "You and I were rather…intimate during that undercover assignment." She smiled, knowingly, "And, well, a woman can tell."
DiNozzo looked from Ziva to Abby. "McGee! Help me out here!"
"Gee, I don't know, Tony." McGee took a thoughtful sip of his coffee. "There was the incident with that she-male..."
"Oh for – when are you gonna let that go, Probie?"
"I don't know. Maybe when you stop calling me 'Probie'?" McGee smirked, clearly enjoying DiNozzo's discomfort. "I'm no expert, but I have noticed Gibbs looking at you kind of funny, Tony."
"Yes!" Abby said, pointing at Tony. "And just the other week he let you get away with murder!"
"I'm not even going to dignify that—" Tony began.
"Abigail may have a point, Tony." Dr. Mallard interrupted, as he entered the bullpen. "Jethro is very fond of you. I don't understand it myself, but then, his romantic liaisons have always baffled me."
"Et tu, Ducky?" Tony rested his chin on one hand and gazed at his colleagues. "And people think I have a dirty mind."
"Just look what Gibbs gave Tony for Christmas, Ducky!" Abby scooped up the honey dust box and handed it to him.
"Well!" Mallard's attempt to hide a smile failed miserably. "I must say this is rather explicit." He squinted reading the side of the box. "Tantalize and tempt your partner with a sprinkling of Kama Sutra Honey Dust. This sensuous, edible powder…hrmm…Dust it on yourself and on your lover, leaving a silky-soft glow, a delicate fragrance and an irresistible taste."
"It's a joke!" Tony stood up and gently removed the box from Ducky's hands. "A joke. Ha-ha. Just like you're all having at my expense."
"You know what they say, Tony." Abby threw an arm around Tony's shoulders and squeezed. "Joking on the outside…"
"And throbbing with passion on the inside." Ducky intoned. He handed Tony a manila envelope. "As requested, a signed and sealed copy of Chief Oakley's autopsy report. You'll see this gets to Commander Coleman?"
"Thanks, Ducky." Tony took the envelope and dropped it on his desk. "I'll get it over to JAG this morning. Nice to see somebody still working around here."
"Isn't it cute the way he gets all Gibbs-like when Gibbs isn't here?" Abby giggled. "They say couples start to look like each other. I wonder if they start to act like each other, too?"
"Right. For the last time," Tony shrugged Abby's arm from his shoulder. "Gibbs does not want to cover me with honey dust and lick it off!"
"That so, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked, breezing through on the way to his desk. He pulled his Sig from the drawer, checked the clip and tucked it into his shoulder holster. "Grab your gear. We got a dead civilian at the Naval Observatory."
"His name is James Plumb." McGee read from his notes. "He's chair of the astrophysics department at CalSci. Here on a six-month contract."
"Wait a minute." Tony tilted his head to get a better look at the face of the deceased. "We're in the Naval Observatory Library, right?"
"Yeah, Tony." McGee jotted something in his notebook. "Were the books your first clue?"
"So this guy is Professor Plumb!" Tony smiled, peering under the table and moving a book out of the way with his toe. "That is so cool."
"And this is going to help us how, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked, as he finished questioning the paramedics.
Tony busied himself snapping photos from various angles. "Just an observation, Boss. We, uh, might want to look around for a candlestick."
The headsmack was not unexpected.
"Why don't you try observing for some clue that this is actually a homicide?" Gibbs eyed Plumb closely as Ducky and Palmer moved him from the desk to the floor. "You can play games on your own time."
Tony exchanged a look with McGee and muttered, "Did you piss in his coffee this morning?"
With a glance at his boss, McGee answered under his breath. "I think maybe you did, Tony."
"Hey, Boss?" Tony hesitated at the top of Gibbs's basement stairs.
"DiNozzo." Gibbs glanced up, briefly, then turned back to the wooden peg he was carving.
Tony made his way down the steps. The TV was tuned, as always, to an all-news channel. He laughed a little. "So, this is how you spend the night before the night before Christmas?"
Gibbs paused and took a sip from his mug. "Stick around. This is pretty much what I'll be doing on Christmas Eve and Christmas night, too." He whittled at the peg some more. "Unless we catch another case."
"Gibbs, that is just…sad."
"What are you doing here, DiNozzo?"
"The door was open." Tony put a paper gift bag on the workbench. "Just wanted to drop this off for you."
"What is it?"
"Well, I'll tell you what it isn't." Tony moved a bourbon bottle out of the way and boosted himself up to sit on the workbench. "It's not a fifth of Jack."
"And it's not a box of honey dust, this time, Boss."
Gibbs put his knife down and brushed wood shavings from the peg. He stood up and reached past Tony for some sandpaper. "I'm not in the mood for games, Tony."
Tony put a hand on Gibbs's forearm. "So why don't you stop playing, then?"
Gibbs looked at Tony's hand. "DiNozzo—"
The low voices from the television were the only sound for a long moment.
"You're right." Gibbs's hand shifted under Tony's arm, his fingers now brushing against Tony's skin. "This game's getting old." Slowly, Gibbs ran one finger down Tony's forearm to his palm.
Tony leaned forward from his perch on the workbench, his breath coming a little faster. "You started it."
"Yeah, and now I'm finishing it." Gibbs's hand slid up behind Tony's neck. "C'mere."
"Don't you think we should—"
"Nope." Gibbs pulled him closer and brushed Tony's lips with his own.
Tony inhaled sharply, then instinct took over as he turned his face up to deepen the kiss. One of Gibbs's hands cupped the back of Tony's head, raking up through the short hair, while the other slipped down Tony's back to pull him in tight. Tony felt himself leaning in closer and closer, until he finally had to pull away or fall off the workbench. He slid off, both arms wrapped around Gibbs's waist, and pressed the length of his body against him. Gibbs had never let go; now Tony kissed him again and again, murmuring Gibbs's name in between kisses, as if he could never get enough.
"So, Abby was right," Tony said after a long while, his lips pressed against Gibbs's throat.
Gibbs exhaled softly and stroked the back of Tony's neck. "Right about what?"
"You do want to cover me with honey dust and lick it off." Tony hesitated, slightly. "Don't you?"
"You weren't supposed to open that until Christmas, Tony." Gibbs's fingers had found their way to Tony's ear, tracing lines along the whorls in a way that made Tony shiver.
"And then what?"
"You'd laugh it off or you'd come over here with something for me."
"I ended up doing both." Tony's lips moved across Gibbs's throat to the side of his neck, then back to his mouth for more slow, deep kisses.
Finally, Gibbs came up for air. "What's in the bag?"
Gibbs reached into the gift bag with one hand, the other holding Tony firmly against him. He pulled out a handheld electronic Clue game. "What's this?"
"Well," Tony murmured, grazing Gibbs's ear with his lips, "The honey dust last year was a pretty big hint, so I figured maybe, this year, I better buy you a clue." He tugged Gibbs's earlobe with his teeth.
"DiNozzo?" Gibbs put the game down on the workbench and moved his hand back to Tony's hair.
He gave him a gentle smack on the back of the head. "Stop talking."
"Merry Christmas to you, too, Gibbs."