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Finding Out

by: wereleopard58 (Send Feedback)

Series: - No Series - #1
Chapters: 025 Word Count: 29872
Rating: ADULT
Character(s): Jethro Gibbs, Tony DiNozzo, Ensemble
Category(ies): Angst/Drama
Pairing(s): Gibbs/DiNozzo
Summary: Gibbs and DiNozzo are drugged can Gibbs forgive himself for not being stronger. The consequences of this lead Tony to leave NCIS and search out his family.

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25

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Chapter Four

Maddie helped Tony get into the little house he was calling home for the moment. She helped up the three-steps and through the front door. She steered him left into the lounge and moved him so he can sit down.

Tony managed to collapse onto his large, comfy, three-seater couch and then placed his head between his knees. Maddie slowly rubbed her hand up and down the back of his white shirt.

"Are you absolutely sure?" He asked her once again.

Maddie rolled her eyes and tried to remember that this was a shock to his system, to anyone's system let alone a man's. "Yes Tony, I redid the test so many times the lab was starting to get annoyed with me."

He glanced up at her, his face pale, but his hazel eyes were bright with unshed tears. "I'm sorry, it's just that a lot has happened recently and, well, what am I going to do?" Tony suddenly burst into tears and willingly goes into Maddie's arms.

"We'll get through this." She whispered rubbing his arms and kissed his head.

"You don't understand, this can't happen, not now."

Maddie could feel her shirt getting wetter, but all that mattered to her was Tony. He wasn't just a patient, he was her friend. "Why not, tell me?" She used her soothing voice, the one that she brought out to all her patients that have bad or shocking news. This should be a happy time, accept, once again, for the fact he was a man.

"I can't. I wish Gibbs was here."

"Why don't you call him?" Maddie suggested which made Tony cry even more.

He couldn't seem to stop, everything from being drugged, to rape and the loss his best friend, to this. Now he carried his best friend's child from that attack. "I can't." He sobbed and just held onto her.

"Tony, it's obvious you need to talk about what has happened to you. We really need to talk about what you are going to do about the baby?"

He looked up at her, his long lashes wet with tears. The confusion was clearly written over his handsome features. "Do?" Tony questioned.

"Yes, do Tony. Do you want to keep it?" Maddie watched him carefully.

"I don't know." Tony whispered.

"Well, whatever you decide I am here for you." Maddie waited for a moment, not sure whether to bring the subject up once more in case it started of the water works again. "Are you going to tell him? The father, the uhhhh other father I mean?"

Tony wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt and sniffed as he moved away from Maddie and sat back. "I don't know he's been through so much I honestly don't know if he could cope with this. I don't know if I can."

"You can Tony, you're strong, and a survivor."

"I'm just so tired, I can't think straight. I needed a break that's why I came here. What am I going to do?"

"Let's get your upstairs, you need to sleep. You can't make any decisions like this. I'll pop home gets some clothes and come back. I'll stay here as long as you need me to."

"Thanks Maddie."

"Come on." Maddie grunted slightly as she pulled him up.

"You're not funny, you do know that." Tony muttered, but a faint smile appeared on his face.

"Let's get you settled." She wrapped her arm around his waist and led him upstairs to his bedroom.


Gibbs screamed and sat up. Sweat pouring down his face. His chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. He wiped his face with a trembling hand. It was another nightmare. He untangled himself from the blankets that were wrapped around him as he tossed and turned on the sofa. Finally, breaking free them, he flung the covers to the ground.

Gibbs turned to sit, placed his feet on the floor and reached over to the table grabbing the glass of bourbon that was sitting there. He had meant to drink it before he fell asleep, but it didn't matter nothing helped him.

"Jethro?" Ducky's voice called out softly as he walked into the house. "Oh my friend." The old man said as he see the mess that Gibbs is in.

"What do you want Duck?" Gibbs asked briskly and quickly wiped the tears from his face.

"I came to see you of course. Dare I ask how you are doing?"

"I'm fine." Gibbs answered a little too fast.

"Jethro, it's obvious you are not fine. If you carry on like this, I am going to have to talk to Director Vance and put you on medical leave." Ducky's voice was soft and sad.

"You can't do that." Gibbs yelled at him. Work was all he had. He couldn't even go down to the basement as it reminded him too much of Tony. This was like Shannon and Kelly all over again, the only difference Tony was alive.

"I can and will my friend. You are living on coffee alone. We never see you eat or sleep, and we can tell that. You have lost a lot of weight over an unusually short period of time. There wasn't any extra for you to lose in the first place. Look at the bags beneath your eyes. When was the last time you actually slept?"

"I can't the nightmares, I just can't."

"This is not a long term measure, but you can't heal yourself if you're not up to. I am going to give you something that will knock you out. No dreams nothing, but you have to promise me that you will do something about the way you are living and." Ducky held up a finger before Jethro could interrupt him, "you will talk to someone. That last one is not a request it is an order from Director Vance. You can come back to work as soon as you go to your first appointment and talk." Ducky handed him a card. "She is expecting your call."

"Ducky I don't know."

"You'll feel much better after some sleep, I promise. Lay down, we'll talk tomorrow." Ducky whispered in his grandfatherly way as he settled his friend down and gave him and shot. "Oh Jethro, I hope you and dear Anthony will work things out. There was always something special between the two of you. I hope you don't lose that because of fear." He reached out and gently stroked Gibbs face.


Tony woke up the following morning. He climbed out of bed and stood in front of a mirror still wearing what he went to bed in, which were joggers and a t-shirt. Tony stood there and stared at himself. Sighing softly, he placed a hand under his t-shirt and rubbed his stomach amazed that he carried a baby. Wondering how it will look? How will it feel? Tony ignored thinking about what will happen in around nine months. That is something he is not quite ready for. He reached over and grabbed a pillow stuffing it under his shirt and holding the bottom. He gently stroked the bulge and wondered if this is how he was going to look. Tony Laughed to himself he pulled away his t-shirt and lets the pillow it fall to the ground.

"Tony, breakfast." Maddie called out from downstairs.

"Coming." Tony grinned, glad it is a weekend so that she can be here for him.

"So how are we doing this morning?" She asked as soon as he walked into the country cottage style kitchen.

"I'm doing ok. It's sort of sinking in. I guess the first thing is to hand in my resignation." Tony's smile fades at the thought of leaving all of his friends, his family and Gibbs.

"I never actually thought about it. I guess you truly do don't you?" Maddie reached over and took his hand. She squeezed to gently knowing how much that job had meant to him.

"Yeah, I do. I can't say sorry can't go out into the field, dangerous for my health. Then, of course, explaining the weight gain. Then asking for paternity leave? It's just easier this way."

"Is there uhhhh anyone else you can tell?"

"I was thinking of calling Ducky." Tony bit his lip. "Ok, I was drugged and so was Gibbs. When we both awoke in the hospital with no memory of the night before, we were told that we had sex." Tony watched Maddie's face. "Fine, it looked as if he raped me. Ducky, was the one that looked over those drugs I was given. Between the two of you, we might figure out if my being pregnant is the reason why Gibbs and I were attacked. If so, then I am guessing it is someone who has knowledge of my medical background."

Maddie watched and nodded in agreement. "Also, your family's history, it could be genetic and that is why you were picked. That could also mean that Gibbs was only used because the two of you spend so much time together."

Tony's face went white he got to his feet and ran to the bathroom to throw-up. Maddie came in behind him and stroked his back. "Oh god." He choked out. "Gibbs is suffering, blaming himself when it is all my fault."

"We don't know yet. Call, this Ducky and invite him down. Let's try and figure things out ok."


Ducky answered his cell as soon as it started to ring without looking at who it was. "Hello, Anthony, how are you? We are all worried….Yes; of course, I am sure everyone….ok. If that is what you wish, not a word." He grabbed a pen and started to write an address. "Yes, I have that address. I will see you soon."

Once that call had ended Ducky stared at it. Something was going on and hopefully whatever it was in the long run could help Jethro.


"Tony sit down and stop pacing. It's getting annoying." Maddie grumbled.

Tony turned to her and grinned sitting down. It wasn't long before he started to tap his foot on the floor. Maddie laid a hand on his knee to stop him. A knock at the door interrupted the speech she was going to make.

"I can't do this." Tony said suddenly. "What if he tells everyone? God, what if he doesn't believe me?" A hand covered his mouth to stop him talking.

"It will be fine, trust me." She waited until he nodded, took her hand away. She then stood to answer the door.

Tony heard a mumbled conversation and then he saw him. "Ducky." Tony stood and hugged the older man.

"Anthony," Ducky pulled away so he could look at Tony. "You are looking much better."

"How is Gibbs?" Tony asked the one thing he had been dying to know.

"He's not dong particularly well I'm afraid."

Maddie saw the look on Tony's face. "No matter what we find out, it's not your fault."

"What's not his fault? Anthony, please tell me what is going on?"

"Ducky." Maddie grinned after introducing herself; he insisted she called him Ducky. "I need your assurance that this will not go any further. Not unless Tony or I tell you."

"Of course, Maddie, I promise now please."

"Have a seat Ducky you're going to need it." Tony sat down and the others followed. "Well, it uhhhh seems like, I could very well be….."

Maddie shook her head at Tony's stuttering. This was a man, until now, had never been a loss for words. Sometimes the wrong ones, but there were always words there.

"Tony's pregnant and Gibbs is the other father." She said bluntly.


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