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Journey To The Past

by: wereleopard58 (Send Feedback)

Series: - No Series - #1
Chapters: 010 Word Count: 14398
Rating: ADULT
Warning(s): Disturbing Imagery or Content, Violence, Other (See Author's Note)
Character(s): Jethro Gibbs, Tony DiNozzo, Ensemble
Category(ies): Angst/Drama, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Slash, Romance
Pairing(s): Gibbs/DiNozzo
Summary: The team have to go to Philadelphia and meet up with some of those that DiNozzo used to work with. Things come to the for front of what really happened and but Tony into the cross-hairs. This now contains rape but it is not overly graphic

Author Notes: This contains the rape memory. Please send me any of your favourite cliches so I can use them for Ziva. To get them wrong of course

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

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Chapter Five

Gibbs continued to stare at Tony and nodded. "Yeah, we can get the file."

"So when are we getting it?" Tony asked.

"We, DiNozzo," Gibbs waved a hand between the two of them, "are staying here. Ziva and McGee are collecting it, with strict instructions not to read it."

Tony chuckled at that. "You think those two are not going to take a peek?"

"Well, if they do they can't say or do anything until I let them. If I can see that they have, I will make them suffer."

Tony looked away for a moment. "I can take care of myself; I've been doing it for years you know."

"Tony, you're hiding something, a terrible secret that is slowly killing you inside. You've hidden it away all these years, and now, after this case it won't go back into the little box again. It will slowly break apart. Trust me, I know."

"Gibbs, I'm not in that file." Tony whispered.

"But, I'm going to know what happened to you because of what the case was about, right?" Gibbs asked.

Tony shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know, but why we are here has nothing to do with me."

Gibbs shook his head and sighed. He had no idea what had happened or what he was going to do about it when he found out. There was nothing else to do but wait for the files to arrive. He sat on his bed flicked through file on why they were here. Gibbs angled himself so he could keep an eye on Tony.


Tony had disappeared into the bathroom as soon as McGee and Ziva appeared.

"Did either of you look at this?" He asked gruffly. He watched as his two younger agents shook their head. He opened his mouth when the bathroom door opened and out came Tony. "Why don't the three of you go and get some dinner while I look through this."

Tony watched Gibbs for a moment. He didn't want to sit here while Gibbs read it, but on the other hand, he didn't want to walk in and find out what the older man's response was going to be afterwards. He was undoubtedly in a no win situation. The decision was taken out of his hands as Ziva and McGee grabbed his arms and dragged him out of the hotel room.

Gibbs looked down at the file McGee had given him. This was something he didn't want to open it, but he genuinely didn't have a say in the matter. He got back onto his bed and made himself comfortable as he flipped open the file and started to read.


Tony looked at his two friends as they ate in the restaurant. "So did you?"

"Did we what?" McGee wanted to know.

"Read the file?"

"No we didn't. It was tempting, but with how Gibbs is with this case we didn't think it would be a good idea."

"It wouldn't have stopped me." Tony said smiling. He was glad that they hadn't so they could act normal around him. He knew that it was not going to last long. They would have to read those files, he would have to read them, and Gibbs wouldn't stop until he found out the truth and then punished those who committed these heinous crimes.


Gibbs drank another swig from the glass; he had a bottle of bourbon sent up. He knew it was damn expensive, but he couldn't leave the room in case Tony came back. The alcohol was needed to help him get through this conversation that is if he could keep it down. He already felt sick by reading what was in the files and imagined what Tony had gone through. When his senior field agent actually told him well, then that was entirely different. Then all bets were off when they found this arsehole and made him pay for what he did.

The door opened, and he heard Tony said goodbye to the other two. He walked in and looked at Gibbs with a drink in his hand.

"I don't have to tell you anything Gibbs it won't make a difference." Tony sighed as he collapsed on to his bed.

"It does make a damn difference if what happened in here you lived through as well." Gibbs growled. "I know our victim wasn't raped, but everything else is the same. In here, it says you were the first one there."

Tony stood up quickly and walked to the window and stared out of it as if he were looked into the past. He could see everything as if it were yesterday.

"I wasn't the first cop on site. I was already there….." His voice faded off.

"As a victim" Gibbs questioned even though he deep down knew the answer but just like his rule he never assumed anything.

"Do we have to do this Gibbs; I don't remember anything that will help."

"Damn it DiNozzo, you should have told me straight away. If this son of a bitch hears that you are back, what makes you think he won't come after you again?"

"I'm not going to live my life in fear. I came here to do a job, and that is what I plan to do." Tony crossed his arms over his chest and glared.

Gibbs' mouth tightened, his eyes narrowed. The flash of anger in those blue orbs made them shine. "Fine, then if you are here to do a job tell me what happened back then, everything you can remember."

Tony sighed he walked straight into that one. He looked up, and Gibbs was held out a glass of bourbon for him. He took the drink, he sat down on the bed.

"I was out a club near where I was found. I needed a release, I needed to get laid. I didn't like working here. Captain Marks was always watching me, he seemed to be everywhere. The worst times were when we got changed somehow he had to speak to someone who was in the locker room with me. I got into a habit of wearing an undershirt and taking off the minimum clothes possible. I'm not shy, never truly have been, but there was no way I was going to give that pervert a thrill."

"Why didn't you say something?" Gibbs tightened his hand around the glass and wished it was Captain Marks' neck.

Tony looked at him in utter disbelief. "And say what? He didn't do anything, he never touched me inappropriately he just watched. It was obvious he had voyeuristic tendencies and as much as that creeped me out I am glad he never….." Tony trailed off and realised what he was saying.

"Tony, what were you going to say?" Gibbs continued to watch Tony closely, he made sure he could see when the younger man had enough.

"I want to tell you the rest, and maybe I can go back to that."

"Ok, Tony, so you were at a club, was there something about that club that attracted this rapist? Did the other victims go there?"

"No one could be sure, there was no evidence that they were ever there. It didn't have cameras because well a lot of people liked …."

"What kind of club was it?" Gibbs asked.

"Officially it was like any other; unofficially it was for people who were interested in their own sex male or female."

"So you're gay?" Gibbs asked surprised that there were things about DiNozzo he didn't know. It looked like he wasn't the only one who could keep things hidden.

Tony gave him a genuine smile, and a chuckle. "Gibbs, I haven't been lying about all those women. I just never told you about the men. The term would be bi, and yes I am." He paused for a moment. "You don't have a problem with that do you?"

"Don't be stupid DiNozzo." Gibbs hid the smile behind his glass as he threw a pillow at the other man. One he had feelings for, and now he found out who liked men. Gibbs shook his head mentally why would someone attractive and charming like Tony would want a bitter washed up old man like him. It would be better if he kept his fantasies to himself then to have Tony reject him

"Right boss, sorry." Tony took a deep breath. This was the hard part he had never actually talked about it before, and since he left Philly he didn't think about it at all. This memory had been made to disappear, or as much as it could be.

"So, you were at the club." Gibbs started off for him.

"I was felt hot and sweaty. I just wanted to go home." Tony stood up and started to pace. "Looking back it was obvious that my glass had been dosed, but at the time it had never left me hand. So who ever did put something in it was good." He rubbed his eyes and wished that this night, that this whole case was over. Tony knew it had to continue, but it was hard to find the words. With that, he laughed out loud. Gibbs looked at him confusion. "Sorry Gibbs, I was just thinking how hard it was to find the right words, me, of all people struggling with talking."

Gibbs stood up and walked over to him. He grabbed Tony's glass, and he put both of them down on the side. He reached out he pulled Tony into a tight hug. It didn't take long for Tony's arms to get around Gibbs' back and grasp his hands together.

Tony took a deep breath and took in the scent that he thought was purely Gibbs. They stayed like that for a moment longer until Tony pulled away.

"Are you ok to continue, we can stop for a bit if you want?" Gibbs asked.

Tony shook his head. "If we stop now, I'm not going to want to start again. It's best if we get it over with. To be honest with being drugged there isn't a lot that I can tell you."

"You never know Tony; you have seen how sometimes the smallest detail can lead to an important break in the case." Gibbs watched as Tony nodded. "So, you felt hot and you went to leave the club. Did you notice anyone following you?"

"No, there was nothing that stood out. If there had been I would have defended myself, as much as I could have, after being drugged of course. This is where things get blurry and it is more images than anything else."

"That's fine Tony, carry on." Gibbs said softly. This was now more about Tony talking to him then it was about the case itself. But, if believing that it would help them then that is what Tony would do. This job and the team meant everything to the senior field agent. They were a family.

"There were hands grabbing me, stripping off my clothes. I felt so helpless, I couldn't do anything I was trapped inside by own body unable to save myself." Tony sobbed the tears forcing themselves free and flowed down his face.

Gibbs pulled Tony into his arms again and ran a hand up and down his back. "OH god Tony, I'm so sorry do you want to stop."

"No." Tony forced himself to pull away. He had to continue this, it was better to get it over and done with now then let it fester overnight. No matter when this conversation would happen. At least it was just Gibbs, and he knew that the older man would do anything to protect him. "I couldn't open my mouth to scream, my eyes had been covered. Whoever did this couldn't see the fear, anger and sheer terror of knowing what was going to happen but have no control. It felt like forever by the time he stripped me. His voice was kind of muffled as he was disguising it. He uhhhh," Tony tried to swallow the lump that was in his throat. He licked and then nibbled at his lower lip in nervousness. Gibbs walked to the tiny little fridge and pulled out a can of coke. He poured it into a glass. He took his time so he could get hold of his anger. Tony needed him, and that was all that mattered. "Thank you." Tony said softly as he took the glass and drank some.

"Not a problem." Gibbs muttered, not wanting to hear the rest of this but having no choice.

"Uhhhh ok so ummm he stripped me down and parted my legs. It was strange, but he was careful. I mean he had found somewhere secluded, he drugged his victim, so he had more time, a lot more time. He put lube on his fingers and uhhhh stretched me. I was glad when he did that because I didn't want to be torn, but he didn't do it to be nice. It meant that he could fuck me over and over. I knew it and it was unlike the other victims they were killed shortly after he took them. I remember the world going black." Tony's voice faded off into the memory of when he awoke, naked and bruised. He managed to move onto his side to vomit all over the ground beside him."

"Tony, you're not in this file?"

"Well, as you could imagine I was a bit of a mess when I got back. I was surprised that I didn't need to see a shrink." Tony paused and looked down at his hands, realised that they were shaking so much he was teary spilled his drink. He reached out and carefully put it on the side. "Ummm Captain Marks called me to his office and explained that he had a friend, who could stop me from seeing the one, and you know how much I love those." Tony watched as Gibbs forced a smile. "That was when I noticed his ring."

"His ring?" Gibbs asked. "Tony you've lost me."

"I woke up and I was alone, alive. The rapist would kill his victims once he had his fun. Yes, he took longer with uhhhhh me. They only reason why would have been if someone had come along. I had been given time off to deal with what had happened and I noticed that there were two different hand prints over my body. One of them had a distinct ring on a certain finger."

"Marks had that exact ring and on the correct finger. Do you think he and the rapist are a team?"

"No, Marks always had this thing for me as I said. It was downright creepy, that bares repeating. I told you I avoided being alone with him whenever I could. I think he had followed me to that club and waited. When he saw me and then I get grabbed he knew who it was but still he waited, he waited…" Tony quickly got up and rushed into the bathroom. He made it to the bathroom as he vomited.

"He waited to the rapist had finished, make himself known so the man would run. Then he could do whatever he wanted to Tony." Gibbs finished off. He now felt sick himself. He had no idea how he was going to deal with Marks, they had a meeting tomorrow, but he knew one thing. Gibbs stood and headed towards the bathroom, to see how Tony was doing. There was no way that Marks was going to get away with what he did. The law may say that didn't have enough evidence, but Gibbs did. Whoever hurt Tony would be made to pay for it.


Marks sat in his office and took a swig of whiskey. It burned his throat as it went down. Tomorrow he would see Gibbs again; they had a meeting after all. Hopefully this time Tony would be with him.


The man smiled as he put up a more recent photograph of Tony.

"Anthony DiNozzo, a perfect name for you" He whispered as he gently touched the picture. He had gone into the precinct under the guise of being robbed and that was when he saw some men who had looked over at the newcomers and that was when he finally found out the man's full name.

They had been parted for years and their first time had been interrupted, but when they joined back together again it would be so much better. Tony had taken care of himself, and he was far more attractive than the others had been that is why he was going to take his time.


Yes, life had been good to Tony, those years on his face made him that more attractive.

"No one will stop us love. Like all star-crossed lovers, we will be together."


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