Series: - No Series - #1
Chapters: 001 Word Count: 506
Character(s): Jethro Gibbs, Tony DiNozzo
Category(ies): Crack!Fic, Established Relationship, Humor
Summary: "How did I not know this about you."
Author Notes: Even I can't believe this crawled out of my head. :-)
"And here's one I made earlier." Gibbs gingerly took the red thing from Tony. He examined it, unable to tear his eyes away, but sorely wishing he could. Tony still held the lime green one and the purple one. Once he got over the shock, Gibbs could appreciate the craftsmanship, but damn, this beat anything Abby had ever told him.
"Is this what I think this is? How did I not know this about you?" As reluctant as he'd been to take it, he felt even more reluctant to turn loose of it. Tony shrugged and looked a little sheepish.
"I don't know, Gibbs, what do you think it is?" Tony grinned for a moment before starting to babble. "It's not the kind of thing I advertise, Gibbs. It started when I was a kid. Our housekeeper used sit at the kitchen table with a cup of tea in the afternoons and do this. Whenever I was home, I'd sit and watch her. She got tired of me just watching, so she started teaching me. Said it would keep me out of trouble." Tony started to say more, but just fiddled with the pieces in his hands, instead. "My first step-mother threw a fit and tried to make me stop."
"What did your Dad say about that." Gibbs kept running his hand over the red one, finding the texture oddly soothing. Watching Tony fingering the ones in his hands was anything but soothing.
"Oh, Dad told her to back off. As long as I was doing this, I wasn't trying to crack the safe in his office."
"Smart man." Gibbs didn't want to think about his lover's father knowing where Tony's hobby had led him. Some things were better left unimagined. Instead he moved to sit on the bed next to Tony.
"Do the colors mean anything special?" Gibbs finally set the red one down and picked up a blue one. Yes, it was as soft as it looked.
"Just what I had at hand when the mood struck me. It's very relaxing, but I think Mrs. Carmichael would be offended by the end result."
"You think, Tony?" Gibbs held the base of the blue one in one hand and stroked up the soft length until he got to the tip. With a gentle tug, he pulled the fuzzy knitted cover off the dildo.
"Well, maybe not, now that I think of it. The gardener and Dad's driver always seemed to be grinning whenever they left the kitchen." Tony took the blue angora from Gibbs and pushed his lover onto his back.
"Does Abby know you knit dildo cozies?"
"No! And don't you dare tell her! Besides, I started out trying to make socks." He guided Gibbs' cock into the length of soft knit and began to gently stroke the outside, grinning while he watched Gibbs eyes roll back in his head.
"Aren't you glad I have trouble following directions?" Gibbs moaned in response. Tony always did make the most of his own mistakes.