Series: - No Series - #1
Chapters: 001 Word Count: 330
Character(s): Tony DiNozzo
Category(ies): Angst/Drama, Character Study, Episode Related, General
Summary: Set after Internal Affairs. DiNozzo watches Jeanne get into a cab and makes a vow.
He watches her leave the building, still with her FBI escort.
He watches her shake her head at something they say.
He watches her turn away and hail a cab.
He watches her get in.
He watches as it drives away.
And he knows.
She was his first love; his first real, genuine, true love.
And she'll be his last.
She was his one chance of a 'happy ever after' and he blew it. He let her walk away. He lied to her.
Never again will he fall in love.
Never again will he love someone in the way he loved her.
Never again will he care.
He turns away, the cab has long gone, and looks across the office.
And he knows.
He knows he'll go back to being the 'old' Anthony DiNozzo. The immature funny guy; the fool; the idiot who messes around and puts superglue on keyboards and fixes chairs so they break when someone sits on them; the agent many people wonder why Gibbs bothers to keep around; the non-committing kind who sleeps with a different girl every night.
Yes, that's the Tony DiNozzo he'll be from now on.
He had his chance with Jeanne.
He grew up with her.
He showed everyone what he could be like: mature; amusing but not the fool; the guy you could trust with such a serious undercover operation; the agent people knew exactly why Gibbs kept around; the committing kind who could and did love one person.
There's no point being that person now, no point at all. Not any longer.
He had his chance.
He had his chance and he blew it.
With one word he blew it.
He let the only girl he'll ever love walk away from him. It was his final mature act.
There's no point being mature anymore. So he won't be.
Never again will he love.
Never again will he grow up.
It's just not worth it.
It hurts too much.